A Bad Day

I wrote this on Sunday, March 25, 2018. 

Yesterday was a bad day. I just got to the end of it, you know? Do you ever have that? When you’re just done. You’ve given and given, and things go wrong, your son gets sick, your husband gets injured, and he hasn’t connected with you in months because of his autism. You feel left out to dry… a little satellite out there somewhere just floating in the cosmos… It’s so hard. Life these days can be so hard.

The straw that broke this camel’s back that night was my rabbit turning on me. I've had her for 7 years – she was rescued out of a horrible situation and I took her in. I spend time with her, I feed her, clean her cage, give her treats, hug her, etc. all the time, year after year, and then she turns on me. 

Okay, you of the more logical mind might say, “She was mad because you brought your other rabbit down stairs, and she saw you holding him. You also took her out of her pen and hadn’t let her run around in several days – she was going to be mad about that…” 

But she really had “had it” when I picked up Kenzie (my other rabbit) and she looked at me with evil in her eyes. She was jealous. Maybe she had had enough. I don’t know. She had bitten me a few times earlier that night when I had her on the couch. She didn’t want me to hold her. She was mad about a lot of things, maybe. I don’t know; I don’t speak rabbit.  

So, when I went to put some hay in her cage, she snapped around and took a huge bite out of my hand. She bruised me and broke the skin. I went upstairs as it was time to try to get my kids to bed and I just cried. My daughter (13 years old) helped. She just rubbed my back and talked to me and let me cry. She said comforting words to me. Sometimes those of us who are the usual comforters need to be comforted.  

I want to horseback ride with my daughter again. We had so much fun the first time when we went with one of her best friends, her mom, and her sisters last summer. We need to do that again. It’s a part of me that I want to share with her. I want to share the good times. 

For me, it means connecting with her from a deep place in my heart that is still alive and beating  even on the bad days. 

Blessings.